Death Proof

November 9, 2007

Death ProofThe Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino double-feature Grindhouse was a fun idea: slap together two deliberately B-grade films, complete with film wear, missing reels and fake trailers, and show it in cinemas as a nod to a bygone era.

But Grindhouse flopped in the US, so us lucky souls in international markets are getting expanded versions of the two films, each released separately. Death Proof, the first to see a separate release despite it being the second feature in the original double-bill, is Tarantino’s half, expanded from its 90 minute Grindhouse cut to a full 114 minutes.

The plot is fairly basic: Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell) has a thing for stalking and killing young women using his “death proof” stunt car. We follow the exploits of two sets of women while Mike prepares to commit vehicular homicide on each group.

The good news is that Russell is excellent — creepy, menacing and occasionally hilarious. Furthermore, the driving sequences are spectacular and quite amazing to watch.

The bad news is that, as a genre exercise it works well, but at 114 minutes it more than outstays its welcome. Long, long stretches of Tarantino’s trademark dialogue feel like padding that adds nothing and lacks the wit and spark of, say, John Travolta’s banter with Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. All I could think of while watching was, “I’m sure the 90 minute cut wasn’t this tedious.”

The problem here is that this material was never meant to stand on its own, and so, removed from its context and with 24 minutes of filler added for good measure, you end up with something that feels rather pointless. We’re being asked to treat the international cut as the new Tarantino film, and on that level it completely fails.

I’d like to think that the original Grindhouse worked as what it was, but Death Proof in its expanded form — despite its countless references and in-jokes — just isn’t that fun. The average filmgoer would be bored stiff.

Eagles: Long Road Out of Eden

October 31, 2007

Long Road Out of EdenIt’s been 28 years since the last Eagles studio album. 28 years! And so, finally, comes Long Road Out of Eden, an album that alone took six years to complete. While you’re listening to this new set of songs, however, it’s hard to imagine that any time has passed at all.

The classic Eagles sound is still there in full force, but this is not simply a nostalgia trip — Don Henley in particular anchors much of the album with biting critiques of current American culture and foreign policy. Sure, it’s trendy to bash the current political climate (cf. Pink), but only Henley (or perhaps Roger Waters) can write lyrics like “And we pray to our Lord/Who we know is American…/He supports us in war/He presides over football games.”

Still, there’s more beauty than bitterness amongst the 20 tracks on offer, such as “Center of the Universe”, a gentle piece that hits just the right notes with its pastoral guitar-work, or the near-a cappella “No More Walks in the Wood”, which manages to be environmentally-conscious without sounding too preachy or condescending.

There are too many great moments to run through them all, but it would be remiss not to mention the ten minute title track which serves as a centrepiece to the album. Somewhat reminiscent of “Hotel California”, “Long Road Out of Eden” replaces dark observations on the price of fame with pointed political commentary, juxtaposing the dream of empire-building with the realities of war in a foreign land. (And all she still wants to do is dance, I guess.) It’s the music, however, that sells the song, and this track above the rest deserves to be played loud: it’s full of nuance and atmosphere that needs to be felt more than simply listened to.

At 90 minutes over two discs, the risk is that the album wears out its welcome, but instead the experience remains pleasant and engaging throughout. I cannot overemphasise just how good this album is — I have yet to hear the new Bruce Springsteen, the new John Fogerty or even the new Neil Young, but Long Road… is perhaps so powerful, so surprising, because it’s so unexpected. How many other bands can manage material this strong after a near-30 year hiatus? Very, very few.

David Gilmour: Remember That Night

October 31, 2007

Remember That NightThere are fans of Pink Floyd who will argue that once Roger Waters left, the band ceased to be (and Waters certainly wouldn’t have disagreed in the past). While 1987’s A Momentary Lapse of Reason can easily be regarded as a solo album by David Gilmour in all but name, the beauty of Gilmour’s 2006 release, On an Island, was that it didn’t have the baggage that the Floyd name carries with it — expectations are somewhat different for a Gilmour solo release, and so, ironically, it allows the listener to draw the conclusion that, indeed, Gilmour is as much Pink Floyd as Waters ever was.

Remember That Night, Gilmour’s new live DVD and companion piece to On an Island, benefits in the same way. Firstly, Gilmour is joined on stage by Floyd founding member Rick Wright, so you’ve already got somewhere between 40-66% of the band there (depending on your perspective). Secondly, the staging, while spectacular, is much more intimate than the overblown PULSE setup: there are no flying pigs, no giant video screens and no flash pots. Instead, we’re treated to an evening of Pink Floyd classics and the entirety of On an Island performed live.

The highlights of the first disc are the performances of “Echoes” (all 20+ minutes of it) and a stripped-down “Shine On You Crazy Diamond”, but the biggest treat is seeing David Bowie alongside Gilmour for “Comfortably Numb” and “Arnold Layne”, the latter fitting Bowie’s style amazingly well. (Having Roxy Music’s Phil Manzanera along for the entire ride is just icing on the cake.)

The second disc fills out the selection with bonus tracks and promo videos, but there’s one particular surprise on the tour documentary Breaking Bread, Drinking Wine that I won’t spoil except to say that it’s both awkward and touching at the same time.

In short, any Pink Floyd fan should pick up this DVD ASAP. And if you haven’t heard Gilmour’s On an Island yet, buy that, too. This is music too good to go unnoticed.

Porcupine Tree: Nil Recurring (EP)

September 21, 2007

Nil RecurringAfter eight studio albums (five of which as a complete band), modern-day prog-rockers Porcupine Tree returned this year with Fear of a Blank Planet, a 50 minute concept album focusing on the nihilism of a generation lost in a sea of on-demand entertainment and prescription medication. Now, five months later, the follow-up companion EP Nil Recurring gives us the opportunity to assess the Blank Planet concept as a larger manifesto.

It only takes a few listens to realise that Nil Recurring is the real deal — from the six minute instrumental title track (featuring a blistering guitar solo by Robert Fripp) to the spacey, distorted “What Happens Now?”, you’re treated to an aural experience on par with the best the band has produced. At the same time, it’s important to understand that these tracks were part of Fear of a Blank Planet‘s evolution: “Normal” appears to be an alternate (and perhaps better) version of “Sentimental”, and “Cheating the Polygraph” was originally in place of “Way Out of Here” when the album was debuted on the road. But what kept Nil Recurring‘s set of tracks from initially making the cut was not quality but consistency, and one of the main strengths of Fear of a Blank Planet was always how well it worked as a whole.

If anything, Nil Recurring fills in the gaps left by the album proper, and together as a suite they more then adequately summarise the talents possessed by the Barbieri/Edwin/Harrison/Wilson configuration of the group in just under 80 minutes. Anyone who enjoyed Fear of a Blank Planet is missing out by not hearing this EP.

Phil Collins takes a walk on the brown side

September 13, 2007

Doing the rounds at the moment is this UK ad for Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate.

Say what you will about his songwriting abilities but, in the ’70s, Phil Collins was one of the best drummers in rock (along with people like Bill Bruford who, not coincidentally, was a touring member of Genesis in 1976).

The question, though, is could a trained monkey do as good a job?

Sodium chloride: a menace that must be stopped!

September 11, 2007

Sodium chloride, commonly known as salt, has for far too long been making ocean water undrinkable, rusting our cars with its toxic nature, causing hypertension and generally making itself a nuisance. This must be stopped!

Luckily, the boys in blue are on the case. Enter Police Officer Wendell Adams in Georgia, USA…

A McDonald’s employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer’s burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

Half the fish and chip shops in Sydney should probably be nuked from orbit in that case.

Commie scientists claim intellectual superiority

September 10, 2007

A new study by David Amodio of New York University claims to show that left-leaning voters have “twice as much [brain] activity in a deep region called the anterior cingulate cortex” as those on the right.


This area of the brain is thought to act as a mental brake by helping the mind recognize “no-go” situations where it must refrain from the usual course of action.

Of course, a true conservative thinks with their gut, not their head, so this proves nothing. And if we didn’t push ahead into “no-go” situations, we would never have liberated the Iraqi people from Saddam. Madness!

But, once again, we have “scientists” pushing their left-wing agendas under the guise of academic discourse. Just last week, we had the intelligentsia pushing their “dragon-killing asteroid” theory (and, like evolution and Newtonian physics, is just a theory and not a fact!). This bias towards brain activity is just more of the same.


September 9, 2007

GodIf something good happens to you, you had better be careful: good things are just what the supreme non-denominational god-head figure puts in the way of your “life path” in order to get your guard down…You are walking down the street, no one else is around and you see a fifty dollar note in the middle of the road; you walk over to pick it up — “This must be my lucky day” you say to yourself — then… BAM! You are hit by a truck.

That’s how the ol’ chap upstairs works, see?

One of these days, APEC…

September 7, 2007

Down in Sydney, Australia at the moment is a little shindig called the APEC summit — the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation annual meeting. Basically, a bunch of political leaders jet over to the host city, where they then wait to be dehydrated by the Penguin before Batman can stop him.

What’s great about hosting the APEC summit is that the host city gets screwed for a week and the residents get no say about it and see no direct benefit. This is heavy-duty stuff: in essence, the whole city has been shut down. Party on!

At least with the Olympics here, you could see the Equestrian event while your tax dollars were being pissed away.

I don’t live in the CBD or even the metropolitan area, and even up here, we’re getting fucked for our troubles. Why? Every bastard from Sydney metro is crawling out of the gutters and heading west, clogging the roads and making life hell.

My solution: with all the moonbases currently in the planning stages, they can host the next APEC summit there. Even if the moonbase is some Hollywood set constructed to fool everyone but the most perceptive of nutjobs, at least the rest of us will be spared this rampant political masturbation.

Scientists dupe gullible atheists yet again

September 7, 2007

As an addendum to yesterday’s post, I note that scientists/Satanists appear to have identified the family of asteroids from which one supposedly wiped out the dragons/dinosaurs.

The name of the family of asteroids? “Baptistina”, no doubt a swipe directed at the Westboro Baptist Church.

Folks, here’s the truth:

Dragon sign