Porcupine Tree: Nil Recurring (EP)

September 21, 2007

Nil RecurringAfter eight studio albums (five of which as a complete band), modern-day prog-rockers Porcupine Tree returned this year with Fear of a Blank Planet, a 50 minute concept album focusing on the nihilism of a generation lost in a sea of on-demand entertainment and prescription medication. Now, five months later, the follow-up companion EP Nil Recurring gives us the opportunity to assess the Blank Planet concept as a larger manifesto.

It only takes a few listens to realise that Nil Recurring is the real deal — from the six minute instrumental title track (featuring a blistering guitar solo by Robert Fripp) to the spacey, distorted “What Happens Now?”, you’re treated to an aural experience on par with the best the band has produced. At the same time, it’s important to understand that these tracks were part of Fear of a Blank Planet‘s evolution: “Normal” appears to be an alternate (and perhaps better) version of “Sentimental”, and “Cheating the Polygraph” was originally in place of “Way Out of Here” when the album was debuted on the road. But what kept Nil Recurring‘s set of tracks from initially making the cut was not quality but consistency, and one of the main strengths of Fear of a Blank Planet was always how well it worked as a whole.

If anything, Nil Recurring fills in the gaps left by the album proper, and together as a suite they more then adequately summarise the talents possessed by the Barbieri/Edwin/Harrison/Wilson configuration of the group in just under 80 minutes. Anyone who enjoyed Fear of a Blank Planet is missing out by not hearing this EP.


Phil Collins takes a walk on the brown side

September 13, 2007

Doing the rounds at the moment is this UK ad for Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate.

Say what you will about his songwriting abilities but, in the ’70s, Phil Collins was one of the best drummers in rock (along with people like Bill Bruford who, not coincidentally, was a touring member of Genesis in 1976).

The question, though, is could a trained monkey do as good a job?


Sodium chloride: a menace that must be stopped!

September 11, 2007

Sodium chloride, commonly known as salt, has for far too long been making ocean water undrinkable, rusting our cars with its toxic nature, causing hypertension and generally making itself a nuisance. This must be stopped!

Luckily, the boys in blue are on the case. Enter Police Officer Wendell Adams in Georgia, USA…

A McDonald’s employee spent a night in jail and is facing criminal charges because a police officer’s burger was too salty, so salty that he says it made him sick.

Kendra Bull was arrested Friday, charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct and freed on $1,000 bail.

Half the fish and chip shops in Sydney should probably be nuked from orbit in that case.


Commie scientists claim intellectual superiority

September 10, 2007

A new study by David Amodio of New York University claims to show that left-leaning voters have “twice as much [brain] activity in a deep region called the anterior cingulate cortex” as those on the right.

Furthermore:

This area of the brain is thought to act as a mental brake by helping the mind recognize “no-go” situations where it must refrain from the usual course of action.

Of course, a true conservative thinks with their gut, not their head, so this proves nothing. And if we didn’t push ahead into “no-go” situations, we would never have liberated the Iraqi people from Saddam. Madness!

But, once again, we have “scientists” pushing their left-wing agendas under the guise of academic discourse. Just last week, we had the intelligentsia pushing their “dragon-killing asteroid” theory (and, like evolution and Newtonian physics, is just a theory and not a fact!). This bias towards brain activity is just more of the same.


Cynicism

September 9, 2007

GodIf something good happens to you, you had better be careful: good things are just what the supreme non-denominational god-head figure puts in the way of your “life path” in order to get your guard down…You are walking down the street, no one else is around and you see a fifty dollar note in the middle of the road; you walk over to pick it up — “This must be my lucky day” you say to yourself — then… BAM! You are hit by a truck.

That’s how the ol’ chap upstairs works, see?


One of these days, APEC…

September 7, 2007

Down in Sydney, Australia at the moment is a little shindig called the APEC summit — the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation annual meeting. Basically, a bunch of political leaders jet over to the host city, where they then wait to be dehydrated by the Penguin before Batman can stop him.

What’s great about hosting the APEC summit is that the host city gets screwed for a week and the residents get no say about it and see no direct benefit. This is heavy-duty stuff: in essence, the whole city has been shut down. Party on!

At least with the Olympics here, you could see the Equestrian event while your tax dollars were being pissed away.

I don’t live in the CBD or even the metropolitan area, and even up here, we’re getting fucked for our troubles. Why? Every bastard from Sydney metro is crawling out of the gutters and heading west, clogging the roads and making life hell.

My solution: with all the moonbases currently in the planning stages, they can host the next APEC summit there. Even if the moonbase is some Hollywood set constructed to fool everyone but the most perceptive of nutjobs, at least the rest of us will be spared this rampant political masturbation.


Scientists dupe gullible atheists yet again

September 7, 2007

As an addendum to yesterday’s post, I note that scientists/Satanists appear to have identified the family of asteroids from which one supposedly wiped out the dragons/dinosaurs.

The name of the family of asteroids? “Baptistina”, no doubt a swipe directed at the Westboro Baptist Church.

Folks, here’s the truth:

Dragon sign


There Go the Dinosaurs

September 6, 2007

The latest Chick tract is so insane and scattered that it’s very difficult to sum up in one paragraph. In essence, it’s a confused rant about how dinosaurs can be reconciled with Creationism.

I really suggest you kill five minutes and read the tract itself, but if you actually have a life — and in that case, why are you reading this blog? — here’s a rundown of some of the wackiness you’re missing out on:

  • humans and dinosaurs once coexisted, but back then, dinosaurs were called “dragons”
  • despite the previous point, a member of a dragon hunting party refers to “dino-burgers”
  • a dinosaur was hanging around Adam and Eve when they disobeyed God and ate the fruit in the Garden of Eden (which, I must emphasise again, may well have been a banana)
  • a lack of available oxygen post-Flood meant that dinosaurs were easier to hunt and so soon became extinct
  • The real issue isn’t where the dinosaurs went… It’s where YOU will go when you die. Heaven or hell? — The choice is yours.

So apparently The Flintstones is an accurate depiction of life in the not-too-distant past.

Wait — a child born with incredible gifts, raised by a man who was not his biological father… Was Bam-Bam the Messiah?


Adam’s apple

September 5, 2007

Son of ManIt’s funny the way assumptions are made over time.

For example, the “fruit” eaten by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is not once referred to as an apple. See for yourself: NIV (UK), KJV.

So how do we know it was an apple? We don’t; it may have been a pear, a peach or even a banana. In fact, a banana would make more sense — it’s no wonder the Big G was pissed off.

“Here. stick this in your mouth,” says Eve shortly after fellating a banana in front of Adam.

“Oh yeah, baby,” says Adam as he symbolically devours his own penis.

Upon the sudden sound of thunder, Adam’s head jerks around quickly. “Oh shit, I think I just heard Yahweh — quick, get me a fig-leaf to hide my boner.”

And the rest, as they say, is history.


I CAN HAS STINGRAY

September 4, 2007

I CAN HAS STINGRAY

Finally, after a year-long silence, the skipper of the support vessel Deepstar, Pete West, has courageously spoken up and revealed all the juicy details of Steve Irwin’s untimely demise.

Surprisingly, the footage shows only a trickle of blood trailing from Irwin’s chest after the stingray struck him through the heart.

He appears to clutch at his chest for a moment as he goes into cardiac arrest.

That the Crocodile Hunter could be mortally wounded only becomes apparent as the khaki-clad conservationist floats motionless in the water.

“It was not that obvious,” said Mr West…

Of course, the amount of bleeding — probably the only detail that wasn’t either already known or easily surmised — was one of those tidbits I’ve been hanging out for. Thanks, Pete!

“The footage shows him swimming in the water, the ray stopped and turned and that was it.”

“If it hit him anywhere else we would not be talking about a fatality.”

If it hit him in the crotch, we’d be watching the footage on Funniest Home Video Show instead.